family bonding time, i get it from my mama, My Mother is My Roommate

Me: I worked my ass off this week.

November 24, 2016

Me: I worked my ass off this week.

Mom: What is “at-soft”?

Me: “Ass-off”. I worked my ASS-OFF this week.

Mom: Oh-ya? And what would you have done without your mother? You would have worked off your ass AND your va-jay-jay too.

😳 😂

family bonding time, i get it from my mama, My Mother is My Roommate

Setting mom up to watch Grey’s Anatomy…

November 21, 2016

Mom: What does “I.S.” stand for?

Me: InSignificant.

Mom: *rolls her eyes* Instant…

Me: Sex!

Mom: *blinks her eyes at me in an exasperated manner*

Me: Whaaaat? You walked right into that one.

family bonding time, i get it from my mama, My Mother is My Roommate

Mom, while I practice holding one minute splits…

November 18, 2016

Mom: You will loose your virginity like that.

Me: I’m exercising my birthing hips.

Mom: Aye-yah!

 

family bonding time, i get it from my mama, My Mother is My Roommate

Mom giving me Tagalog (Filipino) lessons…

October 26, 2016

Me: Mom, don’t touch the dishes!

Mom: You’re doing it wrong.

Me: No, I’m not. Go away. *I shake my booty so she can’t reach the sink* Go away now. Go away.

Mom: Buewsitka!

Me: Boy-sit-ka. What does that mean?

Mom: You are!

Me: I am what?

Mom: Buwesit.

Me: What’s boy-shit?

Mom: Bad luck.

 

 

family bonding time, i get it from my mama, My Mother is My Roommate

Mom on her day off after baking cookies…

October 26, 2016

Mom on her day off after baking cookies, doing the laundry, and her regular daily tearing-of-the-house-apart-cleaning…

Mom: I’m so tired. I’m going to rest mopping the floor now

family bonding time, i get it from my mama, My Mother is My Roommate

Mom as she is combing her hair…

October 26, 2016

Mom: Look! My hair is salt, pepper, and gravy.

Me: Gravy? Last time it was cinnamon.

Mom: Oh shoot. Now it’s sage.

Me: Sage? Because you are a wise woman?

Mom: No, because that was the colour it was when I put it in the turkey.

… 😳 😂