family bonding time, i get it from my mama, My Mother is My Roommate

Mom: Why did you lock the door?

June 30, 2017

Mom: Why did you lock the door?

Me: I don’t want to get raped.

Mom: Nobody can handle your bum.

… 😳

family bonding time, i get it from my mama, My Mother is My Roommate

Mom’s thoughts on the smell of my hair…

June 21, 2017

Mom: Your hair does not smell good. It smells like trees.

Me: Maybe it is making oxygen.

family bonding time, i get it from my mama, My Mother is My Roommate

Paninis vs Penises

June 18, 2017

Mom: Ann Marie likes penises. Aye, paninis.
family bonding time, i get it from my mama, My Mother is My Roommate

Mom: How was Darna?

June 17, 2017

Mom: How’s Darna? You look like Darna.

Me: Who is Darna?

Mom: You said you watched Wonder Woman.

…Apparently that is how you say Diana in Filipino.

#wonderwoman

family bonding time, i get it from my mama, My Mother is My Roommate

Eat the fruit…

June 17, 2017

Mom: Ann, I thought you were going to eat the fruit.
 
Me: What are you talking about?
 
First, you tell me that there are fruits. I say, “Thank you, but I don’t know if I want any.”
 
Then, you pull them out of the fridge. I say, “That’s beautiful, but I don’t think I want any.”
 
AND NOW, you chastise me for not eating them?
 
Ronnie *laughing*: Post it. Post it!
family bonding time, i get it from my mama, My Mother is My Roommate

Mom guilt tripping me…

June 15, 2017

Mom: I told her she could puree the soup, but I come home and do it for her anyway.
 
Me: Stop trying to guilt trip me. That doesn’t motivate me. That just makes me want to bite you.
 
Mom: You are not Ellie.
 
… (Ellie is my 1 year-old niece).
family bonding time, i get it from my mama, My Mother is My Roommate

Mom: You don’t like big?

June 10, 2017

Mom and I as she is changing pillows…

Mom: You don’t like big?

Me: No, I don’t.

Also me: Hehehehe 😏

Mom (does not even phase her): Here, you can have two small ones then.

… lesson of the day: two small pillows are better than one large one.

 

family bonding time, i get it from my mama, My Mother is My Roommate

Mom showing me a scary recording on her cellphone…

June 4, 2017

Me: Ah! What is that?

Mom: Does it sound scary?

Me: Ya, I’m afraid something is going to pop out of the screen. What is it?

Mom: That’s you snoring.

… well played mom. Well played.

 

family bonding time, i get it from my mama, My Mother is My Roommate

Mom on leaving the fan on so I don’t snore…

June 2, 2017

Mom: You know what? You don’t snore when the fan is going.

Me: That’s strange.

Mom:  I tested it. I’ll keep the fan on tonight so I don’t have to listen to you.

Me: Says the woman who talks in her sleeps and says, “Go away, Devil. Go away.”

family bonding time, i get it from my mama, My Mother is My Roommate

Mom: Why is it that that is the only spot of your’s that is organized?

May 9, 2017

Mom: Why is it that that is the only spot of your’s that is organized? You don’t even fold your clothes.

Me: It’s not the ONLY spot. See! My journals are organized (by date in fact!) ❤️