family bonding time, Sibling Bonding Time, Sister Bonding Time

Nicole showing me snaps of her toddler…

Sept. 14, 2017

Nicole *after sending me snaps of Ethan*: Were you annoying?

Me: As a child? Of course. It’s also why I am fucking awesome as an adult.

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family bonding time, i get it from my mama, My Mother is My Roommate

Mom cleaning the bed frame of the master bedroom…

Sept. 7, 2017

Me: What are you doing?
 
Mom: I’m cleaning so it will be in good condition for your inheritance.
 
Me: Why me? I don’t even have my own house yet.
 
Mom: Well, you should have one by the time I die.
 
Me: That’s wishful thinking. I like how logically you know that my younger siblings will have that in order long before I do.
 
Mom: *smiles*
family bonding time, i get it from my mama, My Mother is My Roommate

Of dire importance…

Aug. 27, 2017

Of dire importance, and spoken with a severity warning of mortal consequences…

Mom: On the third of September make sure to go to church to thank God for your life.

family bonding time, i get it from my mama, My Mother is My Roommate

Mom: Why did you lock the door?

June 30, 2017

Mom: Why did you lock the door?

Me: I don’t want to get raped.

Mom: Nobody can handle your bum.

… 😳

family bonding time, i get it from my mama, My Mother is My Roommate

Mom’s thoughts on the smell of my hair…

June 21, 2017

Mom: Your hair does not smell good. It smells like trees.

Me: Maybe it is making oxygen.

family bonding time, i get it from my mama, My Mother is My Roommate

Paninis vs Penises

June 18, 2017

Mom: Ann Marie likes penises. Aye, paninis.
family bonding time, i get it from my mama, My Mother is My Roommate

Mom: How was Darna?

June 17, 2017

Mom: How’s Darna? You look like Darna.

Me: Who is Darna?

Mom: You said you watched Wonder Woman.

…Apparently that is how you say Diana in Filipino.

#wonderwoman

family bonding time, i get it from my mama, My Mother is My Roommate

Eat the fruit…

June 17, 2017

Mom: Ann, I thought you were going to eat the fruit.
 
Me: What are you talking about?
 
First, you tell me that there are fruits. I say, “Thank you, but I don’t know if I want any.”
 
Then, you pull them out of the fridge. I say, “That’s beautiful, but I don’t think I want any.”
 
AND NOW, you chastise me for not eating them?
 
Ronnie *laughing*: Post it. Post it!
family bonding time, i get it from my mama, My Mother is My Roommate

Mom guilt tripping me…

June 15, 2017

Mom: I told her she could puree the soup, but I come home and do it for her anyway.
 
Me: Stop trying to guilt trip me. That doesn’t motivate me. That just makes me want to bite you.
 
Mom: You are not Ellie.
 
… (Ellie is my 1 year-old niece).