family bonding time, i get it from my mama, My Mother is My Roommate

Mom guilt tripping me…

June 15, 2017

Mom: I told her she could puree the soup, but I come home and do it for her anyway.
 
Me: Stop trying to guilt trip me. That doesn’t motivate me. That just makes me want to bite you.
 
Mom: You are not Ellie.
 
… (Ellie is my 1 year-old niece).
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family bonding time, i get it from my mama, My Mother is My Roommate

Mom: You don’t like big?

June 10, 2017

Mom and I as she is changing pillows…

Mom: You don’t like big?

Me: No, I don’t.

Also me: Hehehehe 😏

Mom (does not even phase her): Here, you can have two small ones then.

… lesson of the day: two small pillows are better than one large one.

 

family bonding time, i get it from my mama, My Mother is My Roommate

Mom showing me a scary recording on her cellphone…

June 4, 2017

Me: Ah! What is that?

Mom: Does it sound scary?

Me: Ya, I’m afraid something is going to pop out of the screen. What is it?

Mom: That’s you snoring.

… well played mom. Well played.

 

family bonding time, i get it from my mama, My Mother is My Roommate

Mom on leaving the fan on so I don’t snore…

June 2, 2017

Mom: You know what? You don’t snore when the fan is going.

Me: That’s strange.

Mom:  I tested it. I’ll keep the fan on tonight so I don’t have to listen to you.

Me: Says the woman who talks in her sleeps and says, “Go away, Devil. Go away.”

family bonding time, i get it from my mama, My Mother is My Roommate

Mom: Why is it that that is the only spot of your’s that is organized?

May 9, 2017

Mom: Why is it that that is the only spot of your’s that is organized? You don’t even fold your clothes.

Me: It’s not the ONLY spot. See! My journals are organized (by date in fact!) ❤️

family bonding time, i get it from my mama, My Mother is My Roommate

Mom and I on being rich…

May 7, 2017

Mom: How can you be rich and still owe the bank money?

Me: How can you be rich and still have a bad credit rating? Ohhhhhh…

Mom: Oh, snap. Snap, snap. Snap, snap, snap.

family bonding time, i get it from my mama, My Mother is My Roommate

Mom and I after I rip another pair of jeans and a t-shirt…

May 7, 2017

Mom: I think your muscles are sharp. Not strong, just sharp.

Me: Ya, I’m hulk. And it’s because of all the Nutella I have been eating. The tits just be like, “BOOM! We here.”

family bonding time, i get it from my mama, My Mother is My Roommate

Mom: You sell penises?!

April 30, 2017

Mom: You sell penises?!

Everyone else: PANINIS mom!

… congrats Rascal on your new job. ❤️

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family bonding time, i get it from my mama, My Mother is My Roommate

Mom and I when I was doing the dishes, singing, and smacking her butt…

May 10, 2017

Mom: Annie, I think you can’t find a man because they find you intimidating.

Me: Should I be less intimidating?

Mom: Ha! No, you don’t want a man like that.

 

family bonding time, i get it from my mama, My Mother is My Roommate

Me: Mama, look at my new glasses…

May 11, 2017

Me: Mama, look at my new glasses! I’m like Cleopatra, but less gold and more knots. And I don’t look like an owl. I ain’t no hooooter. Ow! Ahhhh. Mama, did you see that? I had my glasses on and I still walked into the table.

Mom: 😂

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