family bonding time, i get it from my mama, My Mother is My Roommate

Mom: You know the Jaws movie?

Dec. 12, 2017

Mom: You know the Jaws movie?

It was on the theatre, but the nuns did not know that we went out of the convent, and we climbed up the wall, all five of us, and went to the town and watched the movie.

And when the scene on the movie was the Jaws about to attack, there was a Muslim couple fighting and the man was wearing a grenade belt, and the woman took the grenade and threw it just when the shark was about to attack, I thought it was part of the movie, but then the grenade went off in the theatre, and we ran for our life.

I was not hurt, but I lost my slippers.

We were able to come back to the convent by climbing up the wall again, but one co-worker that didn’t come with us said that it is time for the rosary and that the nuns are waiting, and I was the leader to pray the rosary.

And I didn’t know I was deaf until my co-workers were making signals at me and the nuns were looking back and forth at each other because I was praying loudly.

The nuns thought I was an angel. Dah. They thought I was a good girl because they did not know I was naughty.

Ann! Don’t post it. They will discover.

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family bonding time, i get it from my mama, My Mother is My Roommate

Mom on when we go back to the Philippines…

Dec. 12, 2017

Mom on when we go back to the Philippines…

Mom: I will have to ask Auntie Ampy why Mother Superior assigned me to look after the young coconut trees.

When I got so tired of gardening, I would jump and hook the rake on the coconut tree and go dah, dah, dah, swing, swing, swing, and then I’ll call my other co-workers but they are scared, “We are not suppose to touch the coconuts.”

But I say, “That’s ok, we will hide here.” And then we crack open the coconuts by throwing them against the wall of the convent. So it crack open, we made our own scoop, and drank the juice.

And one day, Mother Superior was walking around the convent and saw all those empty coconuts.
I was sitting at the meeting when she said that someone is stealing our coconuts.
I could not speak up, and then she said, “I am putting Susan in charge of watching them.”

So I stopped stealing the coconuts.

That was a good one. I wonder if she knew it was me and instead of confronting me about it, she just put me to work.

family bonding time, i get it from my mama, My Mother is My Roommate

Mom’s taste in movies… #actionjunkie

Dec. 12, 2017

Mom’s taste in movies… #actionjunkie

Mom: Bore me to death with these romance movies. I like action. l like the blood and the suspense.

When I was in the convent, the nun would turn off the light, and I was reading The Hardy Boys by candle light. Dah.

family bonding time, i get it from my mama, My Mother is My Roommate

Mom is sick today…

Dec. 10, 2017

Mom is sick today, so we have her three favourite pleasures:

1) Action movie
2) Bachoy Soup
3) My company 😉

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family bonding time, i get it from my mama, My Mother is My Roommate

Mom: Ann, cut the dick.

Dec. 10, 2017

Mom: Ann, cut the dick.

Me: … you mean deck?

Mom: Aye… Noooo I said deeeeeeck.

Me: 

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family bonding time, i get it from my mama, My Mother is My Roommate

Unveiling the table…

Dec. 10, 2017

Mom: Ever since you were little this table has been protected.

And now you are 25, and it is still covered up. Dah.

I am going to unveil my table now. You better promise me you won’t draw on it.

Ta-la-la-la-la, I am unveiling my table. Ta-la-la-la-la.

 

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family bonding time, i get it from my mama, My Mother is My Roommate

Mom: What did you write about now?

IMG_6890
Nov. 29, 2017
Mom reading this week’s editorial, “Without water” in Houston Today
 
Mom: What did you write about now?
 
Me: You.
 
Mom: Oh, dah. What did you write?
 
Me: I said you wait for no one to get what you want.
family bonding time, i get it from my mama, My Mother is My Roommate

Ann… It won’t print.

Nov. 29, 2017

Mom: Ann… It won’t print.

Me: *Clicks buttons, explains the magicial structure and properties of Google Chrome* What are you going to do when I leave?

Mom: Die.

family bonding time, i get it from my mama, My Mother is My Roommate

“Oh, yuck.”

Oct. 17, 2017

Mom: Oh, yuck.

poetry, power, psychic poetry

Soul-Tribe

Bring me to my tribe,
where first looks turn into starry eyes,
of the cosmic similarities
We share inside.

I have let the heat of my difference go untouched;
in fear that the warmth of who I am is too much.

It feels like protecting yourself
when your arms are lopped off.
Like the sculpture of Venus de Milo,
you continue to stand bravely,
Taking every verbal cut and scoff.

I don’t want this wear
to mold me into someone
I am not.
Bring me to my tribe,
enough I have fought.